Tribes:v [Slim]

The beta's multiplayer only, so not played the oft talked about offlinecomponent, with only two maps. One indoor, one outdoor.
Lets get it out of the way, tribes:v has skiing, something I wasdefinately not a fan of in previous games. But this time there's adifference: skiing has been legitemised and therefore integrated properlyinto the game. As a result it's a bit easier to pull off, so everyonesdoing it, but crucially it means the maps are balanced and designed forit. This makes skiing routes more like choke points, you can plan for itand expect it, and it's a more level playing field. Kinda. The result inthe maps I've played is that both teams end up skiing past each other inthe mid field and the concentration is therefore on defence, butstill.....
Talking about defence, this is quite different too. The flags are nolonger holed away in some keep, they're now proudly out on display. Makingthem tougher to defend, but also tougher to attack.
Standard tribes things are still in place, the jetpacks here, as is thedisk launcher. Both might be a bit quicker, but that could be myimagination. The game overall does seem to play a lot faster though.
Visuals are a bit of a let down, not really dont seem to be up to UT2004's standards despite being based on that engine, but a definateimprovement over tribes 2.
It's not bad though, the fixes could make it actually enjoyable and meanthe old tribes players wont take it over and make it unaccessable.

V- Fest - full story and pics! [Houmous]

Full story? - well errr Lurks and I went to V-Fest with Di and some of my other mates. We got toasted, saw some good bands and ate loads of mushrooms - well actually I couldnt eat loads of mushrooms because Lurks ate them all errr thats it.

Oh and amazingly it didnt rain while the festival was on!

Anyway - the piccies are here and the movies of Lurks "behaving unusually" are here (34mgs)and here (25mgs)

Hehe - Seriously we really have to sort out a EED posse for Glasto next year!

Fat birds [Lurks]

Fat birds, they're just not cricket in my view. I mean neither are fat blokes, I guess, but then I'm not looking at blokes with a few to whether I want to shag them or not. That's not to say you do that with all women either but I mean when you look at one, you'd quite like it if she was easy on the eye. They all love it too, I mean love looking easy on the eye. At least I assume they do because they spend so fucking long dolling themselves up.
The thing is, every time I'm out and about these days I see some perfectly reasonable looking bloke (near as I can tell, right) with some bird who has one of those sort of duelling basketballs type arses. Clearly loves the cakes and does virtually no excersize at all.
The thing is, I bet these girls weren't quite as much of a munter when they hooked up with this bloke. They've just sort of let themselves go. Now I dunno about you but when I turned into a full blown fat bastard my missus whinged in no uncertain terms and I had to sort myself out. Women think nothing of that sort of thing, they've got all the prior art in the world when it comes to the patents on moaning.
Yet obviously if you were to say to your missus "Hey love, I think you've stacked on a few pounds and well, I don't really find it attractive when you sweat while eating. I also quite like taking you from behind but now you've got half a side of beef in the way. Any chance you could sort yourself out love?"...
Well, pretty darn sure that would be met with a nuclear level domestic, quite possibly loss of life and almost certainly the loss of a relationship. So these blokes let it slide. Then they end up in the situation where they're walking down the road with a swamp creature, well... more sort of walking in front of it really, since there's not enough room on the pavement and if you walk in front then you don't have to look at the arse.
I'm thinking though, if this trend goes on. Wont society have a self-sterilization effect? The men-folk too scared to say anything but not being sexually aroused by their fat and hideous wo-beast partners in any way shape or form and uselessly throwing their man-custard into a tissue night after night. It's a scenario isn't it.
Maybe I'm being harsh but well, this is electricdeath.com for fuck sake. It's just that lately I seem to be hemmed in by munter-beasts on the streets, on the tube and turning sideways to shove their quivvering sweaty masses into the same tuck-shop I go to for lunch. (Usually buying a *salad* with a fucking mars bar, packet of crisps and a milkshake). Am I right? Are we being drowning in an ocean of female blubber and will this steralise the nation so only the poor can breed? Or do those fat bottom girls give you teh stiffy?

How to beat RSI [Shedir]

OK then, how do you do it effectively?
Been doing IT shit for a living for 16 years now and it's finally caught up with me. Right wrist / thumb is a bit fucked. So thought I'd try some preventitive measures now, before it's too late altogether.
Step one, had a DSE done. So top of monitors are now level with my eyes when seated. Neck problems vanished in a day or two.
Step two. Put a timer on my desktop for breaks, Twitch!.
Step three. Relearn to type. I never bothered with the proper way to type. The way I'd taught myself on the Dragon 32 gave me high speed n accuracy. Now it would appear to be causing problems. Trying to undo 20 years of bad habits is hard!
To help I got an atype keyboard from Dabs. The keys are a bit squinted but it feels like it'll be a good one in the end. Wrists are nowhere near as crooked as when using the MS Natural keyboard.
Step four. MEDS! Doc gave me Movelat gel to help with the swelling and pain. Works a charm.
Slim has recommended one of these Dyna-Flex things. So I'll nick down to a sport shop and try to get one of them.
Anyone else got any top tips on how to keep your wanking hand in good working order?

Are You Prepared? [Brit]

Like many on the UK mainland, I recently received a copy of the government's rather garish emergency preparedness handbook through the post. This rather strange booklet will undoubtedly be dismissed in fairly short order by a forgetful public, which is why it's launch is being backed up by a nationwide TV campaign, gently reminding us to take notice of the warnings & information contained within.The fact that we have this booklet represents a significant change (albeit largely unobserved in the popular press) in government policy. Despite the many ways the media couches it, the fact remains that the threat of attack on the mainland has warranted the publication of this material - something that hasn't been done since the 1950s with the issuance of the now iconic "Duck And Cover" material.Taken in isolation, you would imagine that simply sending these publications out was something of a waste of time; a certain type of person may well suddenly start stocking up on tins of spam and bottled water, but in the main, it's simply another bit of junk mail clogging up our doormats of a morning.However, this isn't the case. Sky One / Sky One Mix is currently running a series of high (production) value programmes entitled Terror Alert: Could You Survive? - which runs on Thursdays and repeats on Sundays. It's sassy, intelligently produced, and whilst not necessarily anything to do with a wider governmental "education" plan for events such as these, sure as hell looks that way.This hour long programme covers a scenario each week - from nuclear suitcase bomb detonation in an urban area, to the outbreak of an airborne contagen on the Underground. It employs a series of devices to avoid an air of dry academia or monotone governmental dictum - fronted by ex-SAS trooper Chris Ryan, and with skillful direction and vision, the scenarios are scarily realistic.Last night's episode was particularly "real" for me; since I do honestly believe that we are a very viable target and the grey area of suitcase/portable nuclear weapons is sufficiently fuzzy and well publicised to be of a concern. Over the course of an hour, Ryan took us through two scenarios following the detonation of a 1-2kiloton device in Plymouth; stay at home, or peg it for the hills.After 40 minutes of watching what I'd need to do to avoid fallout (effectively build a shelter inside your home and stay there for 14 days) and survive the immediate after effects of emerging into an area potentially flattened and contaminated by such an event. It struck me that I don't even have a roll of gaffer tape in the house, let alone the ability to quickly remove doors for shelter... as the clock ticked down, I became very aware of a) how very real this whole scenario may be and b) how fundamentally lacking my preparations are.The question is, are you prepared? Have you done anything to assess your options in such an event? Part of me wants to simply ignore it all, labelling it "paranoia", but the programme wheels out big gun Government Scientist Types and Other Experienced People, who make a damned good case for doing anything but simply ignoring it...

Consumerism [Amnesia]

There comes a point, as the good Dr recently pointed out, when corporations just fuck you off. Now I am, in all honesty, a complete past master of winning the phone-team-situation. This comes from having been a phone-jockey in previous student lives and from being a professor of human behaviour. Uncle Am's top tips for winning a consumer dispute via a call centre are;* Remember - nothing gives a phone jockey a sense of power in their miserable existence than being able to cut you off at the legs. Therefore if you are going to pull an attitude on them, you lose. Remember this a frickin lot because you're gonna need your patience.* Phone jockey's are mega apathetic and are completely uninterested in you. However....* They all really know just how shit their company is and they hate the bosses, more or less. Therefore....* If you can make *them* your friend and the bosses the enemy and give them a sense of "sorting the crap out" then you are into phone-jockey heaven my friend* Which is all predicated on the fact that you must must must get a personal relationship going with someone that you can come back to.If you achieve all of the above, then 9 times out of 10 you can achieve the impossible. i.e. get your frickin way.Now, to the point of the blog, there are sometimes that you know that you just can't win. A policy decision that is mindblowing but universal to the company. In these situations I have started writing emails for sheer entertainment only. The following is something I wrote to HSBC when they upped their normal internet security to extra loads of pointless checks. I think it would be great if other members of EED could contribute similar ones and we'll get it published like one of the most successful books of the 70's - The Henry Root Letters. Ours will be called Crosshatch Consumerism and we'll all be millionaires by this time next year, Rodney....Dear Kate & Team,Thanks for taking the time to feedback - sign of a decent organisation. I noted with interest that you said that your research was across "the industry" and imho this is why you've been conned into this change.Whenever you are talking data security or audit, those people do not have any "upside" to telling you that your current levels are acceptable. Instead they generally look around the industry and see - for instance - Natwest using 4 level security with interminable questions, rubbish functionality and a total unwillingness to let you do anything useful unless you have to input your name, the first family pet you ever had and your inside-leg measurement.The upshot of this is they say "ooh - you do realise your security is 'deficient' compared to Bank X". It's not deficient at all, it's just not as totally overdone. This recommendation, because it comes from data security or audit type functions, is then hard for middle management to turn down because they feel they are on a "no win" streak if one SINGLE person loses money because they wrote "My IB number is 123456666, my pin is 123456" on their wallet in crayon.Well it's wrong imho. It's always easy to go for the "max level" and certain people make a really good living out of making these recommendations. But in reality, if you have a telephone banking system that let's you log on using sort-code / a/c number and 6 digit pin, or the ability to take money out of the hole in the wall with card and 4 digit pin, then the choices you are making on this internet login are illogical.In summary, as an HSBC customer, I feel you've been conned by the culture of "maxism" on controls. It's not necessary. If a tiny percentage of the crayon-using public end up getting robbed of their money then I suggest, organisationally, you should recognise, this is probably a good thing. They will starve, become destitute and be unattractive to the opposite sex at which time they will not be able to reproduce, thereby stengthening the gene pool.So in summary, not only do I as your loyal customer ask you to reconsider, but I remind you, that the good of the species itself requires it....Yours sincerelyGareth Johnson.

Hacking the frames [Lurks]

Doom 3 is out right, and that means that they'll be a few clannies and a few general readers of ed.com out there in Internet land that may just be considering upgrading their graphics card so they can play Doom 3 and Half-Life 2 at higher than slide-show frame rates. I've been looking into it, as well you might expect, and I've come to the conclusion that what you need is a brand new Alienware PC. Ho ho. Bah. :)

Well... Okay then, what if you're just going to upgrade your graphics card? We're looking for a bit more value than just buying the top of the range ATI X800XT or GeForce FX 6800 Ultra and after a bit of digging around and some experimentation, I believe I've hit on a solution which will essentially get you the ninja graphics card you always wanted, cheaper than it's going for in the shops.

The solution is to buy a Radeon X800 Pro card with VIVO capability. A card from Sapphire, Connect3D or Club3D is what we're talking about. This one is the one that I used in my tests. An X800 Pro is basically the X800 core with 12 pipes disabled and the core/memory speed clocked down a ways. Turns out that the video-in/video-out (hence VIVO) cards, have non laser-cut X800XT parts on them and they just have a protected bit of the BIOS which tells them to disable the other four pipes.

There's a good guide here but I'm going to walk you through it with just a single download. First of all, you wanna download this which is a zip file with all the stuff you need in it.

When you extract the zip file you've got a FloppyA and FloppyB directory. You're going to need two floppy disks, all very cunning eh. First off, bang in the first floppy and go into FloppyA directory and run the Flasher+Floppy2.37.exe file which will cut a bootable floppy with the ATI flasher on it. Then copy the X800XT.bin file onto that floppy. Exchange the floppy for a fresh one and go into the FloppyB directory. Click on the drdflash.exe which will cut a bootable floppy disk with a bare DrDOS on it. There's a subdir called Bios, copy everying in that over onto your floppy. Job done!

I'd recommend uninstalling all your vid drivers first. Download the latest Catalysts, right now there's some 4.9 betas with some bigger numbers in Doom 3 but I'm not linking those as they'll be outdated soon enough. Just hack those ready for an install. You could also, just to be sure, run the ATI catalyst uninstaller util from this page. You can't do the old uninstall drivers, install drivers and reboot trick, you'll b0rk ATI shit if you do that.

Now we're set to go ahead, make sure you've got your new X800 Pro VIVO card in your box. Boot up floppy A. Then;

flashrom -s 0 backup.bin

That's written out a backup of your card's BIOS in case it all goes horribly wrong. Now reboot and boot floppy B instead. Now we wanna do this;

gvf11 -p -f r80x256v.f1

This is Gigabyte's flash util and their X800XT BIOS and, strangely, they've released a tool which writes over a protected part of the BIOS which writes over a protected part of the BIOS which unlocks the extra four pixel pipelines that we would quite like, thank you very much. The thing is, we don't really want Gigabyte's BIOS though, we want ATI's default X800XT one. So reboot and boot FloppyA again and this time;

flashrom -p -f 0 x800xt.bin

Reboot. Windows will reckon you've got an X800XT. Install your new drivers if you haven't prior, otherwise you'll just need to walk Windows through finding the new graphics card. If you do that, you'll need a reboot before benchmarks because there's a start-up service which checks AGP speed and ups it to the maximum, otherwise it'll crawl.

How about some benchmarks on what this achieves? You got it! Doom 3 benchmarks are all in 1280 x 1024 because that's native for the TFTs most of us are using. Doom 3 timedemo is 'timedemo demo1' and scores are from second run in each instance.

ATI Radeon 9800Pro
• Doom 3 'Medium': 24.8 fps
• Doom 3 'High': 22.9 fps
• 3D Mark03: 5956 3d marks

ATI Radeon X800Pro
• Doom 3 'Medium': 37.1 fps
• Doom 3 'High': 35.7 fps
• 3D Mark03: 10164 3d marks

ATI Radeon X800XT modded
• Doom 3 'Medium': 47.0 fps
• Doom 3 'High': 45.4 fps
• 3D Mark03: 12274 3d marks

You might get some graphics corruption if your memory isn't good for XT default speeds in which case just flash back your original BIOS and the four extra pipes should remain open. Or run an overclocking utility and back the card off until it's happy. Enjoy!