I suppose I'd better tell you about my new bionic eyes then. I've got (sorry had) crap sight, minus 6 in both eyes, which equates to me being able to see the big letter on the sight board and not much else.
I've worn hard gas permeable lens for years and although I'd been aware of laser treatment for ages I didnÂ’t really fancy it - two things lead to a change in this attitude though.
Firstly I went to the opticians a few months ago to see what new technology there was in the world of contact lens and came out with a new type of soft lenses that you put in, leave in for 30 days, take out, throw away and put new pair in. This introduced me to the world of 'waking up in the morning and being able to see' - being able to track down Di's nipples ( oh sorry dear did I wake you?) without clambering around the side of my bed for my glasses was a world I took to like a fish to water.
Unfortunately I also joined the world of constant dull irritation when my left eye decided it didnÂ’t like soft lenses - but the seed was sown (get it? :-) )
Secondly I kept bumping into people who had had it done and bored me to death with how good it was - what was worse is that most of them had had it done at Boots for gods sake!
I initially went down the Harley street doctor route but they all wanted to take £250 off me just to see if I could have the operation done (25% are rejected) whereas Boots were doing it for free - what had I got to lose? Off I trot to Regent Street
I wonÂ’t rant on about it but they were brilliant, not just in the quality of the equipment and the numerous tests they did but in the attention of the staff. Anyway I pass - I can have bionic eyes!
I booked in and had it done 2 weeks later. You are there for about 1.5 hours while they photograph your eyes so the PC can map them and enable the laser to lock on (more later ) and put anaesthetic drops in them ( and some other ones to dilate your pupils) then....you get the call!
The op takes about 10 mins. You lay back on an operating table and they put more drops in your eyes. Then a little suction cup is put over your eye which they pressurise ( you lose your sight for about 20 secs) You then feel a slight cutting sensation on your eye as a tiny circular saw cuts a circle in the very top layer of your eye - like a layer of cling film - but not quite finishing it. The surgeon then pulls the flap back with some tweezers exposing your cornea. Its all OK though because they give you stress balls to hold haha..
Concentrating on a red light above you they now switch the laser on. This is directly above your eye and bombards the cornea removing a thin layer each time. It is locked onto your eye via the PC and can track and predict your eye movements so it can compensate for them while blasting away. When it gets the cornea to the desired shape it stops. The whole thing takes just over a minute and you donÂ’t feel a thing, but you can smell what effectively is burning tissue ( they tell you its the 'gases' haha).
Oh I forgot to mention that you have eye clips on like Malcolm McDowell in Clockwork Orange....no Beethoven no Beethoven!
You can’t see to well afterward because of the anaesthetic drops but when you wake up the next morning – god you can’t believe how well you can see!!
I went back for a check-up 4 days later and my eyes are (whatever this means) 2 better than 20/20 vision. Certainly I've never been able to see as well as I do now, with lenses or glasses.
Cost? £1250 per eye but they are currently doing interest free credit - £300 on the day and approx £90 per month for 2 years. There is stuff you can’t do for a while ranging from going to the gym (one week) to boxing (six months). You get drops to put in your eye for a week to prevent infection. It wont help long sightedness which almost all of us get as we get older hehe.
I’ve just put a full carrier bag of lens paraphernalia in the dustbin – I’ve got so much more room in my bathroom cabinet now for facial products! ..
Wednesday, 5 November 2003
Cursed. [shedir]
I've realised I'm mobile phone cursed. After the 5 t68i's I had through carphone warehouse they exchanged for a nokia 6610. I like the 6610. except for it not working either.
"Insert sim card", people phoning rings twice for them and then cuts out leaving no message, randomly turning off. I'm now on the 4th one of these. T-Mobile deny it's them, CPWH change them on request. End of the day I'm cancelling. Only started the contract in fucking FEB 2003 FFS and I've had to visit their shop far too often.
So once they actually send me a box and manual for it (never got one when I handed in t68i) its ebay bound! Don't let me down ebayers, top $ please :).
But saw this offer in my currant bun, Voda anytime online 100. Bloody cheap rental, good phone. Ideal. Bye bye T-Mobile.
Oh another thing I heard.
T-Mobile have changed their contract setup. If you get a new phone you had a 14/28 day period where you could cancel the lot if it didn't suit you. No longer. Once you start the contact you're stuck with it for the duration. The other part to this is they do not guarantee reception INDOORS, so unless you're a park warder you have no recourse. IMO avoid like the plauge ridden puss addled
Tuesday, 4 November 2003
e-doctors? [lurks]
I'm sick right now. The details I wont bore you with but it's a combination of a flu and asthma which makes it really quite difficult to breath. I'm currently having some medication assessed and a new visit booked to see how it's getting on. While I was looking at the doctor file my details in a little opened ended card holder thinggy, it made me realise how backwards they are. They haven't even got patience records computerised yet but there was talk of it not so long ago?
Anyhow, I was thinking also - imagine what a boon it would be if you could actually just e-mail your doctor.
Hello Dr Shipman,
Killed any old ladies lately? Anyhow, it hurts when I pee and last night I fucked a tramp, do you think it's connected? I'm hoping it will go away but so you think I should come in to see you?
I wonder if you can sign up with a private practise to get that kind of service? I mean, you wouldn't treat it as an emergency thing and wouldn't expect a prompt reply but there's plenty of cases where you want a quiet word but you're not going to haul your ass down to the surgery to waste everyone's time.
Right now, I'd quite like to e-mail my doctor and mention that there's been no change in my peak-flow measurement (measurement of lung capacity) even after all the drugs, should I give it until our next scheduled appointment to kick in or is a day enough to tell this isn't working?
I think more accessible heath professionals would be pretty darn cool. Of course there probably is a private quack offering this but since it'd cost a mint and my regular NHS surgery is literally across the road, it's not something I'd realistically do. But there must be others who think along the same lines?
Anyhow, I was thinking also - imagine what a boon it would be if you could actually just e-mail your doctor.
Hello Dr Shipman,
Killed any old ladies lately? Anyhow, it hurts when I pee and last night I fucked a tramp, do you think it's connected? I'm hoping it will go away but so you think I should come in to see you?
I wonder if you can sign up with a private practise to get that kind of service? I mean, you wouldn't treat it as an emergency thing and wouldn't expect a prompt reply but there's plenty of cases where you want a quiet word but you're not going to haul your ass down to the surgery to waste everyone's time.
Right now, I'd quite like to e-mail my doctor and mention that there's been no change in my peak-flow measurement (measurement of lung capacity) even after all the drugs, should I give it until our next scheduled appointment to kick in or is a day enough to tell this isn't working?
I think more accessible heath professionals would be pretty darn cool. Of course there probably is a private quack offering this but since it'd cost a mint and my regular NHS surgery is literally across the road, it's not something I'd realistically do. But there must be others who think along the same lines?
Operation Flashpoint [drdave]
Blimey, it's the mark of a fine, fine game when you can step back into it two years later and be thunderstruck by how good it still is. A fine game such as Operation Flashpoint.
I picked up the Game Of The Year edition (the original, plus the two expansions) from play.com for a paltry 7.99, mainly because I had a hunch that my recently expanded computing machine would give the game the performance I always suspected it would benefit from. And lo and behold, it does. I can now render out to the full distance, with highish details, at 1280x1024, and it all looks magnificent. The Resistance expansion has taken the engine up a notch or two, and while the soldier models might not cut the mustard (or indeed the cheese) when lined up against today's best examples, I would nonetheless confidentally suggest that you would not find a more accurate or imersive representation of an outdoor environment outside of going to the cotswalds and running around in the high grass.
Asthetics aside, the game is every young boy's dream. Every weapon and vehicle that you could possibly imagine is in there, and if it isn't, there'll be an addon somewhere. All lovingly modelled down to the cockpits (which have working altimeters or speedometers). Nothing beats piling your squad into a chinook or loading up an apache and reigning divine retribution on a convoy of soviet BMPs. Hell, even with my russian connections, I still feel a certain guilty pleasure in taking out spetnatz. Better dead than red, eh?
But the best thing by far, and the part that was infuriatingly lacking in the original, is the multiplayer. Luckily, recent patches and expansions have beefed up this side considerably, so its no longer the frustrating exercise in extreme patience that it used to be. Finding a server with folk on is child's play, as is creating a server yourself. There's still the seagull mode problem following death, but a lot of missions now use creative respawning scripts to keep the realism but avoid having dead players swooping around the skies.
Erm, best game evar!
I picked up the Game Of The Year edition (the original, plus the two expansions) from play.com for a paltry 7.99, mainly because I had a hunch that my recently expanded computing machine would give the game the performance I always suspected it would benefit from. And lo and behold, it does. I can now render out to the full distance, with highish details, at 1280x1024, and it all looks magnificent. The Resistance expansion has taken the engine up a notch or two, and while the soldier models might not cut the mustard (or indeed the cheese) when lined up against today's best examples, I would nonetheless confidentally suggest that you would not find a more accurate or imersive representation of an outdoor environment outside of going to the cotswalds and running around in the high grass.
Asthetics aside, the game is every young boy's dream. Every weapon and vehicle that you could possibly imagine is in there, and if it isn't, there'll be an addon somewhere. All lovingly modelled down to the cockpits (which have working altimeters or speedometers). Nothing beats piling your squad into a chinook or loading up an apache and reigning divine retribution on a convoy of soviet BMPs. Hell, even with my russian connections, I still feel a certain guilty pleasure in taking out spetnatz. Better dead than red, eh?
But the best thing by far, and the part that was infuriatingly lacking in the original, is the multiplayer. Luckily, recent patches and expansions have beefed up this side considerably, so its no longer the frustrating exercise in extreme patience that it used to be. Finding a server with folk on is child's play, as is creating a server yourself. There's still the seagull mode problem following death, but a lot of missions now use creative respawning scripts to keep the realism but avoid having dead players swooping around the skies.
Erm, best game evar!
Monday, 3 November 2003
Guinness 2 - The Dark Beast Returneth [am]
It's one of those sad facts of life that your PC rig gets to be outdated. Like your favourite family puppy, it's not long before your rig has enjoyed a happy spriteful (arf) youth, has come out the other side of it and is now reduced to weeing incontinently against your desk leg and wagging it's usb-tail feebly unable to fetch the latest dx9 sticks thrown its way by Halo et al. In fact, it brings a nostalgic tear to my eye to recall Mugs building Guinness 1 back in the days where internet games were going to be a professional sport and every teenager in the country had two million squid of VC in their back pocket. Those were my earlier days in 't Death and I remember blogging (afore it were known as blogging) on the demise of Tequila and the rise of the new slavvering dark beast, a Lan Li Aluminium case with a throbbing 1.2athlon, 512megs of sdram and a then brand new (and awe inspiring) original Geforce 3. I think it cost me slightly less than a modest family home at the time.
Well this weekend, [EED]Lurks came round my gaff, having disrupted the entire communications systems of London and taken about two and a half hours to get (t)here and proceeded to twiddle his screwdriver unto my rig and replaced all the serious bits with updated bits. Showing that he not only talks a good game but actually has some reasonably serious hardware skillz too, he sat at the kitchen table ripping wires out hand over fist while I drank beer and said things like 'Quantum assmaster, yes' and 'Uberfloogle capacitor conversionator, yes I see'. Sometime later and with about, literally, two tweaks - The Dark Beast Returneth.
The 2.8 p4 is stiing at 3.2 with a contemptible ease and is happy as Larry under load at about 45c. The asus mobo is fast and flippin useful ('What have you just plugged in my green socket'? It said - 'headphones' I selected by way of reply 'They need to go in the red socket matey' came back the reply - how useful is that eh?). The Radeon 9800pro has got what it needs to run it and a gig of Corsair 3200 DDR400 Ram generally fetches the drinks and hands nuts round at a hell of a clip. Fast? You want 8x anti-aliasing 16x antitropicflooglemongten filtering and 1280x1024 on Max Payne 2 and it still runs like Slim through warm butter? You got it. It benchmarks at 15,500 3dMarks01 without me having bothered to clock the vid card.
I was so delighted we proceeded to go to a club night with Houmous and Di and get so trollied I'm still feeling ill from it two days later. But tonight, I shall cuddle up to the Dark Beast and feel reassured. MWU, dear readers, and indeed AHAHAHHA.
Well this weekend, [EED]Lurks came round my gaff, having disrupted the entire communications systems of London and taken about two and a half hours to get (t)here and proceeded to twiddle his screwdriver unto my rig and replaced all the serious bits with updated bits. Showing that he not only talks a good game but actually has some reasonably serious hardware skillz too, he sat at the kitchen table ripping wires out hand over fist while I drank beer and said things like 'Quantum assmaster, yes' and 'Uberfloogle capacitor conversionator, yes I see'. Sometime later and with about, literally, two tweaks - The Dark Beast Returneth.
The 2.8 p4 is stiing at 3.2 with a contemptible ease and is happy as Larry under load at about 45c. The asus mobo is fast and flippin useful ('What have you just plugged in my green socket'? It said - 'headphones' I selected by way of reply 'They need to go in the red socket matey' came back the reply - how useful is that eh?). The Radeon 9800pro has got what it needs to run it and a gig of Corsair 3200 DDR400 Ram generally fetches the drinks and hands nuts round at a hell of a clip. Fast? You want 8x anti-aliasing 16x antitropicflooglemongten filtering and 1280x1024 on Max Payne 2 and it still runs like Slim through warm butter? You got it. It benchmarks at 15,500 3dMarks01 without me having bothered to clock the vid card.
I was so delighted we proceeded to go to a club night with Houmous and Di and get so trollied I'm still feeling ill from it two days later. But tonight, I shall cuddle up to the Dark Beast and feel reassured. MWU, dear readers, and indeed AHAHAHHA.
Sunday, 2 November 2003
Do The Right Thing [alfa]
So, im gonna get an axe. Not just any axe, but a huge fucking splitting maul.
The reason for this sudden interest in destructive woodland tools is of course tailgaters. I discovered that since the weather is utterly fucked up and i dont have the golfclubs in the trunk anymore i dont feel safe when i slam the breaks to warn some assprobing idiot behind me. There could be several pissed off dopeheads in it, so i need something to guide them to better manners with if an accident occurs. And what could be better than some very sharp, very heavy metal mounted on a piece of prime hickory? Exactly.
I was considering a baseballbat, and i even looked at those lovely cricketbats, but decided that they just dont have what it takes to deter morons. There is always the possibilty that this happens at night, and the above mentioned weapons just aint shiny enough. So an axe it is, and splitting mauls doubles as sledgehammers, so if the subjects are unwilling to understand the seriousness of the situation you can whack em gently on the legs and imobilise them without any blood. Which is a good thing.
I also plan to get one for me apartment, opening the door naked with one over the shoulder should put me on the jehovas witness blacklist for life.
The reason for this sudden interest in destructive woodland tools is of course tailgaters. I discovered that since the weather is utterly fucked up and i dont have the golfclubs in the trunk anymore i dont feel safe when i slam the breaks to warn some assprobing idiot behind me. There could be several pissed off dopeheads in it, so i need something to guide them to better manners with if an accident occurs. And what could be better than some very sharp, very heavy metal mounted on a piece of prime hickory? Exactly.
I was considering a baseballbat, and i even looked at those lovely cricketbats, but decided that they just dont have what it takes to deter morons. There is always the possibilty that this happens at night, and the above mentioned weapons just aint shiny enough. So an axe it is, and splitting mauls doubles as sledgehammers, so if the subjects are unwilling to understand the seriousness of the situation you can whack em gently on the legs and imobilise them without any blood. Which is a good thing.
I also plan to get one for me apartment, opening the door naked with one over the shoulder should put me on the jehovas witness blacklist for life.
It hurts so much [floyd]
No internet connection at home until the 8th November! My god does it get any worse.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
Posts
