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Friday 26 November 2004

Bluesky Half Life 2 Mods [Slim]

You've played Half Life 2, if you've an ounce of taste you fucking loved it and your weary tongue is now feeling a sad and empty socket where the golden molar of gaming goodness should be. But let me help you fill that weeping cavety with some half life 2 most wanted moddery wishlisting!
Lets throw the floor open here guys! We need to reintermediate efficient niches here and maximise shareholder values by engineering distributed partnerships, or something.
I'll go first.. I'd like to see something use the gravity gun, because it was the single most fucking cool arse thing about the game. Not something totally based on it mind, but something that uses it in a similar fashion to the ole grappling hook in quake 2 ctf. Like ctf in arenas where you use your trusty grav gun to pull and push platforms and swing bridges and shit around. You can also use shit as shields and stuff, ace for when you're leggin it with the flag, suck up a bit of steel and cower under the fucker!

38 comments:

  1. Slim speak troof, but Slim misses The Golden Nugget.
    Allow me to furnish you with said nugget:
    GRAV-BALL 2099: 16 players, 8 a side. An enclosed arena. An electrified metal ball (let's call it a Destructo-Sphere). One grav-gun each. The aim is much like Speedball. Get the Destructo-Sphere up to the opposition goal utilising your grav-gun to carry and pass the ball. Along the way, inflict near-future-style pain and torment on your fellow players.
    Modders: if you make it, they will come.

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  2. ENEMA DERBY: 48 players, 48 sides. A huge racetrack where each player sits astride a futuristic horse type conveyance and races to the pumping sound of various acid jazz remixes, with the aim of giving opponent's an enema with the gravity gun.

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  3. ENEMA DERBY - did we not do that when drunk last saturday ;)

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  4. Dave, you cock, how is that any different from UT's ball mod thing?

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  5. Battle Tetris: This is a multiplayer mod where you start with a pile of rubble of odd shaped tetris blocks. Well, bits of concrete, bricks, peices of metal, paint cans and the odd radiator. You spawn next to a bit of wall and your object is to obtain bits of your rubble pile, with the gravity gun, and extend your wall into the middle of the map where upon you will win. The thing is, when you're getting to the end game, it's only a little further to your enemies wall and you can nick bits of their wall from the unlocked bit at the end, resulting in an feverish battle as your puzzle solving skills of dexterity with the gravity gun give way to your cunning ability to kill your opponent (forcing them to spawn at the base of their wall) and steal the unglued bits of their wall to further your own.

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  6. I like that a lot. You could also get weapons and powerups based on certain item combo's. Stack five radiators in a row, get a rocket launcher and start taking pot shots at the oppo! Pod, fucking code this now you fucking slack fucking get!

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  7. PAEDOSMASHER 3000: A delirious mix of social justice and fast paced FPS action - take control of your specially modified gravity gun and hunt down paedophiles in a hellishly realistic Welsh coastal town. Pick up the kiddyfiddlers and hear their professionally sampled THX enhanced begging as you hurl them fearlessly onto the concrete beach defences. 4 players.

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  8. DOMINO-DOMINATION: Two player mod, each player has a gravity gun and an unlimited supply of large dominoes. The gravity gun must be utilised to construct a line of dominoes that, when initiated, will trigger a detonation on the opposition side.

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  9. JENGA ARENA: Four player mod. Giant Jenga stack. Grav guns. What more do you need to know?
    I should do this for a living.

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  10. DAYTIME PRESENTER ATTACK: Wade into the glass ceiling'd world of daytime television and take back your life from those that would beam fat arsed luridly dressed celebrity hasbeens into your tellybox at all hours. Use the specially adapted gravity gun to destroy whole Pebble Mill sets, and blast the floor staff with studio detritus and audience limbs. Special bonus pack ("Need Credit? loans") for the unemployed.

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  11. Sounds good Slim but I'd don't have the time to code outside of work with my hobbies. That and I really can't be arsed because I'm a poofy little gaylord.

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  12. BURN THE FRENCH: A superb remake of the 1960s classic "Burn The French, The Cunts". Launch yourself into a truly inspired HL2 mod, the likes of which not seen since last year's "German? Good. Kick him."
    Assume up to 8 different disguises, including Henri (the striking dock worker) and new for HL2 - Jacques, the local gay petrol attendant. Stalk French folk in 16 stunning locations, using your specially modified Garlic Gun (with anti gravity properties) to cut swathes through the populace. £16.99

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  13. TOCA Air Boat Championships: Like TOCA only better. Because it's got airboats and stuff. You have a tretcherous course to race around but only the top players get to race, if you come last you have to earn your place again by spawning as random monsters in the fetid drain/swamps that form the basis of the course. The player comes last and spawns as one of the random monsters whose job it is to try impede the progress of airboats and otherwise serve as amusing squealing cannon fodder for the racing airboats.

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  14. Paracrab: Take a standard level of Half-Life 2 and populate it with monsters. The object is to kill all of the monsters and take over the level but there's a catch. You spawn as a headcrab and must leap onto the noggin of a soldier/monster where upon you must battle for control with a fun sub game which is made more difficult depending on the level of the monster you have versus the monster you're taking over.

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  15. helo eed,
    my freind daz sez u r maikng a hulk mod 4 hl2? Is this tru? pls maek it for xbox not gaycube. will u put rowdy roddy piper in it?????/
    pls send 2 my hotmail wen u r maed it. PS I liek ur sight. r u really all ghey???!!1111 ROFLOLZZZ
    hulky

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  16. BILLY PIPER: Wander the streets of London using your gravity gun in vague attempts to get a career and make sense of your own mortality.

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  17. TREMORS: Players are on a debris strewn beach armed with only gravity guns. They must stand on the rocky outcroppings, not the sand, or the Graboids will get them. Players engages in a frantic struggle to launch debris at each other and knock them onto the DANGEROUS SAND. Last man standing wins.

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  18. KeepUpThePower : Your in a big ass smelly room full of drunk people with no social or gaming skills to speak of, your goal is to use the gravity gun to find why the poxy power keeps going off :)

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  19. Bug Hunt: You are the Roach King. You have the pheropod. Up to a dozen extra players must kill you but all they have is a pistol and a can of bug spray. The Roach King commands hoards of roaches (new model of Ant Lions) and commands them to destroy these pesky humans. Humans are forced to decide, should they defend themselves with the bug spray or should they attempt to take the Roach King down with their pistol and claim the ultimate prize, the Roach Scrote, which when attached will allow them to become the Roach King themselves

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  20. AVOID_YOUR_ROUND: Setting is the dickens, 16 players, you have to use the gravity gun to avoid buying/paying for your round at all costs :)

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  21. TEXAS HOLD 'EM: Players take the role of futuristic Cyber Cowboys, and must use the Gravity Gun to round up "Steers" and place them in an Electro-Pen, back at the ranch. The Gravity Gun can be used in its alternate mode to "goose" the opposition's captured Steers and cause rootin', tootin' Texas stampede! Yee-haa!

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  22. SHUT THAT DOOR 2450: It is the near future, and the world is ruled by Evil Dictator Larry Grayson.
    The populous of this crackpot dystopia is hooked on the most popular Ultra-Violence TV Show - "Shut That Door". Participants must run around sprawling corridors, using only their gravity gun to slam shut a series of ELECTRIFIED DOORS, thus trapping their opponents down blind alleys and DARK BACK PASSAGES. The catch? The corridors are patrolled by evil IslaStClairBots who will trap unsuspecting players and feast on their still beating hearts.
    All the while, Larry Graysons grinning visage is projected onto HOLOGRAPHIC DISPLAYS around the levels, tittering and cooing like a manic, futuristic poofter!

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  23. THE INSEMINATOR: Following the invasion of earth by the Wang Conglomerate in 3015, the human birth rate has plummeted as the exploitation of the planet goes unchecked. You play Gordan Oblong, a street wise sleazy discredited scientist with a penchant for home grown opiates. Use your specially modified Jizz Gun to inseminate as many women as you can whilst carefully maintaining your cover by attending lectures at various academic research institutions, and restore the population!

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  24. Steam had some good news this morning...HL2 deathmatch has been released :) Can't wait to chuck a toilet at Slim with the GravGun!

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  25. You can't do that, I'll probably be perched on it!

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  26. if you guys keep up the swearing,ill arrest u

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  27. email me mods and guns at suparsonicnathan@hotmail.com

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  28. This blog is like a honey pot for fucktards.

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  29. rofl - billox told a funny!

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  30. could u fucken retarts give me a fucken new mod or bloudy two

    retarts.

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  31. Heh, this is what we call the phytoplankton of the human race. Would you believe he's Australian? You can't make this shit up.

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  32. Nat. Hrm. Are you the Nat I was ina team with at some TV show thing at TPF a few years ago? If so, I owe you a beer. Next time you're in Melbourne.

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  33. no i am a kid.i want my guns and cheats,NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  34. 'nat', you're a gem. Oh nothing particularly fancy, more like a chunk of Ratner's best cubic zee. Personally I've no idea what a 'retart' is, although it sounds Uncommonly Good, but I would spend a moment considering the view (which I may posit hereafter) that you're something of a cunt0r. Kid Cunt0r. Haha. Haha.

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  35. I think it must be pastry related, as in"Would you like some more desert sir?""Sure, retart me".

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  36. GIVE ME SOMEN FUCKEN CHEATS OR ELSE

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  37. email me some cheats and mods and guns

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