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Thursday 20 March 2008

Hungry ATMs [Shedir]

I go to left a tenspot out the RBS ATM at work, no big deal. Except it hadn't been fed in a while, while it licks its cash dispensing lips I whistle on carefree and full of the joys.


"What the fuck, it's REBOOTING" Yes a P3 with 256mb of ram ate my card, while it digested it and came back to the usual interface I waited calmly. Then it asked for a card again, sated for now.

I call the RBS and get put on hold, call my bank (the clydesdale) and there is where the frustration sets in.

"Hi, ATM swallowed my card".

"OK sir, we need to re-register you for telephone banking"

"Sorry? I'm not calling for that, I need my bank card"

"please stop interrupting sir" - At this point rage meter raises a notch "Im trying to get you another card as yours has been destroyed"

click, another notch

"Why has it been destroyed, its in the ATM in front of me. I can just collect from my home branch surely?" - I had my card swallowed 7 years ago, 2 days after 1st kid born...just lucky I guess.

"No sir, any card taken by an ATM is shredded. Now you're reregistered for telephone banking it'll be 3-5 days before your card is set. Then 3-5 days after that before a new PIN has been issued".

It's a bank holiday weekend eh. So those days will be WORKING days, I'll be without access to my cash for probably better part of two and half weeks (just before I go on hols). MARVELOUS. Because the banking system ATM ate my card.

What a bloody stupid system, I'm left with the feeling the drone I spoke to has screwed this up and my card probably will go to the home branch. But you're powerless against these fuckers, as well my account is a joint one with missus. Or I'd have been left potless until they deign to give me access to my cash again, mental.


  1. Can you get to an RBS branch today and talk to a human being? Even if they can't return the card they can expedite the new one.

    Phonebanking is pain :(

    I think it's unlikely the ATM shreds the card btw, I'd have thought it's done in-branch when they take things out the back of the machine.

  2. Change bank immediately.