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Friday, 14 May 2004

Lappies recovered! [am]

In an incredibly erm enthusiastic moment I delblogged this blog. Bless the power of google cache ;)
Sony are holding a press gravy trip out to Brussels this weekend for their Vaiovision tour. I can't make it since I'll be over at E3 but it seems that they've kicked off the launch of the new products in Japan already.
E series - What looks like budget notebooks based on Celeron-Ms. A series - Super sexy widescreen sleek desktop replacements based on Dothans to Celeron-Ms. All with DVD writers. U series - The tiny little tablet things seem to have turned into little media players with little add-on keyboards?! Madness. A series - Media player cum iPod type thing. Vaio Pocket... Hmm. Nice new lappies. Nothing particularly new on the sub notebook side of things so nothing which is going to make the EED TR1MP owners get jealous. The tablet thinggy looks pointless to me and the A-series iPod competitor looks too big and overly complex. Bet it doesn't do MP3 either. Screen looks odd, it has some colour bit in the middle with B&W status displays to the side? I really don't get what they're doing with that matrix of buttons, anyone else?
rabido: You missed out the S-Series
Lurks: Hmm, widescreen portables. Smaller screens. Top models are Radeon 9700 powered but widescreen is no good for games. Nice kit but not startling. You made noises about something that was gonna blow socks off, any of this lot? I'm a tad underwhealmed so far.
rabido: Personally I'm going for the S1 series with a Mobility Radeon 9700. I do a lot of number crunching at work - thus making the dothan part really useful whilst I still want portability. You can always play games in XGA with out a zoomed screen....
Am: Well it shure wurz purdy that S range and the thinness of an after eight mint but unfortunately, old bean, until it gets Onyx Black screen technowlodgee NO DICE BATMAN!!!!

Rolling, rolling, rolling, rolling [am]

Well so it comes to pass. I sit here in my den (sorry lair) of 0wnerage and like Alistair Macfuckface I sign off on my last letter from Sarf East Lahndan! For the entire time I've been in the clan - five years? - I've been writing total bollocks in your general direction from about the same square mile in Lee, SE12, three of a half of it in this gaff. Tomorrow we move, unless some cunt wants to cunt the whole thing up in a level of cunting that will bring a new definition to the possibilities of cunts' cunting, to our new gaff in Whitstable on the North Kent Coast.
Readers, it's not an unsad moment for me.
Over the last five years+ I've had more laughs than I could ever have imagined possible from randomly replying to a 'Clan needs members' posting on gameplay. Lurker recruited me because 'his email was complete garbage and I didn't understand what the fuck it was on about but it seemed entertaining' and in that respect, I hope I've managed to keep standards to a consistent low. Simultaneously, we've roadtripped, we've lanned and by god have we had a couple of drinks. In short, as I sit here in the dimmed out solitude of my lair for the last time, I'm feeling a bit nostalgic. I remember it all - from not actually knowing what the fuck lurker meant by 'drop by #eed' and managing to elicit it was IRC without him dropping me (good hair day) to the general insanity that came to pass. Coming from never having played a PC game of any seriousness to smacking Slim up in a Q3 duel in a year in a half remains a favourite :)
Anyway, by the time I read this again, I'll have a different IP and I'll deny I ever posted it. But this has been a home from home, a place of my most favourite mates, and a place where I've pissed myself laughing and got pissed until laughing I pissed myself. Or something.
I can't wait to plug in from the coast and give you more ritual abuse. The best news is I know Nildy have a 2meg potential in the new gaff so I'm going to be 1 / 1.5 megged up. In the meantime I'll hit the diseased return button on this keyboard one last time and wish you adieu from the south of the smoke. Tomorrow, turning right at the burning cars, I depart for a different life.
Ta ta
Am

Tuesday, 11 May 2004

Music Plasma [lurks]

This thing called Music Plasma is the coolest thing ever. You basically type in the name of a band you like and it draws a graphic depiction of bands somewhat similar, so it's superb at finding shit you might like. If you leave it on a favorite, a window pops up and it shows you all their albums too. Bugger me, nifty!
They do fuck it up mind. The Streets and Kings of Leon? Oh please!

Tube driver scumbag [lurks]

When my alarm goes off, Radio 4 comes on. So I lay there listening to the current day's news and they've got that tube driver bloke on. The bloke who was sacked by London Underground on account of the fact that he basically didn't show up, on average, one day every week for the last year or so. He's off sick again, right, broken leg or something. Acting on a tip off (obviously not a well liked chap), one of the managers pops down to the local sports club and spies said tube driver coming out of the squash courts. When taken to task, apparently it's all doctors orders and it's OK because he lost most of the games...
So why is this bloke on the radio? Well, you may recall that the union kicked off some strikes because of the 'unfair' sacking of said tube driving scumbag. I think I blogged about it before? The thing is, at the tribunal, this bloke got off. That is to say, he won his case for unfair dismissal. Won it. On a technicality. So boss of transport worker union turns up to the tribunal and awards the guy ... a squash racket.
Words fucking fail me. Well, they would if I wasn't such a gobby fucker. Just how does one express the necessary contempt for this lazy workshy scumbag and the union which has seen fit to penalise the entire capital city of this country on behalf of said lazy workshy scumbag? Even if this bloke did turn up to work, he'd do around 30 hours a week and takes home £35K per year. For pushing the fucking FORWARD AND STOP lever and occasion the DOORS OPEN and CLOSE buttons.
That's all this wanker has to do. That's it. So he can fucking transport all the people in the train to their infinitely more taxing jobs. He wont even do that. He skives, he pulls sickies consistently. This man was on the radio. They interviewed him. He had absolutely nothing to say for himself. No sorry for skiving, no sorry for holding the city randsom for a lazy workshy scumbag. Nothing.
And of course we have these seemingly all powerful unions protecting scumbags like this. It's a mockery, a sham. They're laughing at us. Laughing at us as we pay our drastically inflated tube fares, laughing at us as they hand a squash racket to this talentless skiving fuckstain.
This is what our great society has managed to achieve. Something which is far more concerned with the rights of someone who has no intention of pulling their way, than it is the meagre concerns of a productive and functioning society. It almost makes you wish we had a proper monarchy again. Hauled up in front of Her Majesty with a full list of crimes against the State read out, I feel sure that a Queen would have no other choice than to cry;
OFF WITH HIS HEAD!

Monday, 10 May 2004

The Ultimate Router or is it? [lurks]

Few weeks back this uninteresting box landed on my desk, another WiFi router - yawn. Actually it's an Asus, who aren't particularly well known in this area. I had an Asus ADSL router in the past and it was sort of competent but it nothing special and it got ditched for one of the many units I've used since.
As a result of that prior experience, I wasn't expecting much. The device is the Asus WL-500G. Asus' web site is in its typical broken English and they describe it as the 'The Most Smart WLAN router in the world'. Yeah right. So I plug it in and check it out. Err, the web config is nothing short of sex - this isn't the Asus crap I've seen before, thinks I. Interest piqued, I make a grab for the manual and check out some feature. Bugger me, this thing has features. Rather than rambling through them all, I'll just the impressive ones;
  • 802.11G 54mb networking
  • NAT, static routed or WAP modes
  • Proper WPA security
  • Printer server
  • USB port for mass storage and webcam
  • Two firewalls, for LAN and WAN

Some of those are pretty standard, some of them are seriously damn cool. First off, the web interface. I think some pics are in order here. Here's the front end of the web interface. Now take a look at the virtual server stuff for port forwarding. It's perfect. Scrolly list of mapped ports which supports ranges (thank Christ!), just what you need.
Before you get too bored of that, just take a look at this page which shows you the built-in FTP server. Take special note of the little box, quite a lot of the settings in the router have little pop up explanations. That is very cool for beginners. And in fact, as you can see from the nav on the left side of those shots, there's some easy set up wizards. These make getting the WL-500G and running seriously easy for people without too much of a clue. Simple defaults for cable or ADSL modems etc.
It should also be mentioned that it comes with two printed manuals, one of which is a full guide and is surprisingly in depth while the other is a quick start guide. Again, perfect. You starting to spot a pattern here?
Let's just back track again to when I said USB and that features list. This router has a USB socket on the back. If you plug a mass storage device into it, you can set up a WAN accessible FTP server on it and it's pretty comprehensive too. You could just slap in a little 64MB pen drive in the back of it, for example, and FTP some documents home.
That's cool right, but the webcam shit is *really* cool. It supports a load of different webcams and, get this, if it detects movement - the WL-500G will e-mail you with the image file attached to the mail. I don't have a supported webcam (a lot of the ones it supports are easy to get hold of and very cheap like the Trust SP@CECAM 150, but I've got some Creative NX Pro thing which isn't supported) but I'll get hold of one and try it out later.
Let's talk about the wireless. It has a detachable aerial as you'd expect. The signal to my lair from it is 'Good' as opposed to the 'Poor' I got a D-Link 614+ in exactly the same position, according to my Sony TR1MP notebook. I got WEP sorted very easily. The WPA stuff is far better than WEP of course, and I got that working on the notebook with an 802.11g card in it too. The icing on the cake is the fact that you can disable the radio entirely and it has a separate wireless firewall, oh and a schedule too.
So, you could run your own hotspot with this and just allow people mail and web access and only during the day times. Jeez, it even supports RADIUS authorisation too and given that it'll also work in a distributed Wifi environment, it sure looks to me like it'd be sweet for more commercial heavy duty use too.
All the rest of the stuff you'd want is there. Port triggering, proper firewall, UPnP support, configurable DHCP, DNS relay etc, you name it. All, as near as I can tell, work flawlessly. DHCP hands out a different IP address submask when the wireless firewall is running. I changed the IP address of it and it actually prompted me in a pop up that I ought to change the DHCP server IP ranges and sent me onto that page before setting changes and rebooting. Perfect.
Physically, it's very nice too. Here it is next to my Motorolla cable modem. It will also lay down and the vertical stand folds away into it to retain the lines. The LEDs are quite bright. There's a proper 4 port fast ethernet switch of course. If you mong a firmware upgrade then it will go into emergency mode so you can restore the firmware, which is a damn sight better than Netgear which will just eat itself and you 're left fancy doorstop.
I've had it running for a few days and it hasn't crashed but then no other router I've looked at is quite *that* bad but after a month, we should know if it's more stable than Netgear's (yes I know most of their ADSL routers are OK but their broadband routers just aren't stable). Game server scans didn't phase it, which is a good acid test. There's no DoS protection mentioned but then I can't quite see how useful that's supposed to be when you have filters for types of ICMP traffic anyway. Gaming on it is as good as a D-Link, which is as good as it gets.
Now to quantify and summarise my view of the WL-500G, first it might be worth mentioning that I have used and tested, at length, a very great many broadband and ADSL routers so I think I'm in a pretty good position to comment on this. The WL-500G does not strike me like the work of some tech monkeys belting out another commoditised router. This router strikes me as a labour of love. Whoever designed this router has seen the competition and they've spoken to people who use them and who place above normal demands on consumer routers and they have delivered the finest router I have seen, Wifi or otherwise.
Asus does actually have a UK office for support, I know because I've spoken to them. Availability of this unit is the tricky one though, a google turned up nada and none of the usual suspects seem to carry it. This is a recent Asus push into the UK though and I gave Dabs a call, filled them in on my findings and they said they would stock it so look out for it there in the next couple of days.
Want to know the RRP on this? Try £60. Yes, the RETAIL price and that is inclusive of VAT.
Now, here's where the 'or is it?' bit comes into this blog. This is actually a redo of the original blog due to my findings after putting the router into a pretty tough working environment - my house. The wireless was flawless and net connectivity all well and good, as mentioned above - but after awhile, the net connection would die. At first I thought it was the ISP, then perhaps the router had crashed but it looked like it was OK, web config worked. I even chased my tail for awhile suspecting some sort of DHCP renewal problem and I discussed that on the end of the original version of this blog.
To simplify the issue I killed that blog and resubmitted with my real findings. The WL-500G is a kit-reviewers nightmare. Under all but the most thorough of examination, it is absolutely exemplary but when tested in a manner which is only befitting an unfeasible amount of testing, it turns out to have a flaw which is not just a nuisance or a drawback but a complete showstopper.
One taxing thing for a router to end up having to work with is Bittorrent. This results in many incoming requests on a single port, requesting a port back and a pretty complex exchange of data. Each one of the requests requires mapping through NAT and each one uses a bit of memory every time. Some routers have been known to crash under these circumstances. Belkin is famous for it, some Netgears will die after a few days of this punishment.
Sadly the WL-500G is somewhere in between. It will randomly self destruct on the WAN routing side anywhere from minutes to 24 hours after a Bittorrent is fired up. There is no evidence of a flaw other than WAN routing dying. One flaw of the router is a pretty basic level of diagnostics logging and absolutely no real-time diagnostics such as throughput and so on. So I was left in the dark isolating it.
Yet on two occasions now, I have seized up the router just by firing up a Bittorrent client on a particular busy torrent with a generous tracker (which hands out lots of IPs), and it has seized within minutes and no hours. It doesn't come good of it's own accord, it needs to be rebooted manually.
So there you have it, a complete showstopper. The router is useless. So while the engineers at Asus did an amazing job of looking at all the things incorporated in a router and excelling in their implementation on the WL-500G, in the final analysis they failed to test the router adequately under demanding conditions.
Bugger. Back goes the D-Link.

Sunday, 9 May 2004

Football haters unite [lurks]

I was over at the Guardian and I spied this wonderful piece by a former football writer who has since seen the light. Here's an extract:

Despite appearing to be an adult, and, scarily, being allowed to vote, this person wishes to be defined by his football team. Ich Bin Ein Arsenal Fan. He has opted out of the complexities of human life and adopted a somewhat simplistic persona: Arsenal fan. Given the merest pause in the conversation he will pavlovically and rhetorically ask: 'Three greatest Arsenal left-backs of all-time? Lee Dixon, obviously ...' His epitaph will be: 'He watched football and read the sports pages.'

I'm in my own personal living hell at work. I'm surrounded by these simplistic personas. There's nothing else on the agenda, nothing else that defines them than commenting on the bizarre and expensive politics of swapping players and other dreary football shit which isn't even about playing football.
Fucking insane, make it stop for fuck sake. There must be a way we can implant some some additional personality into these people?!

Friday, 7 May 2004

Nailgun error [lurks]

This bloke here right. This is an Xray of Isidro Mejia. 39 year old builder in Hollywood. You might see something odd, you know, like the six bloody great nails embedded in his brain. Apparently this is the work of a nailgun that has both a manual and 'fully automatic' setting. It slipped and err, well, own goal type thing.
Does anyone remember that big ass nail gun in quake. It was well nasty with those ricocheting nails. See now had he played Quake, he'd have known right, that's my assertion.
But really, what gets me about this sort of nonsense is that after all that, the bloke didn't even have the bloody decency to die and thus create - presumably - an amusing and fresh entry into the Darwin Awards hall of fame. He's expected to make a full recovery, for Pete sake. You know, I've had people cheat me like that in Quake too.