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Friday 23 July 2004

Rest of intentions [am]

Having been ill and having overdone it at the HouLan, I recently had a bit of a nasty shock with skipping heartbeats. Now I can tell you as as a fat lazy bastard, there's nothing guaranteed to make you feel more stupid than getting wired up to a mobile heart monitor for 24 hours. I also got to check in again with an impression that I've picked up over the years that hospitals and serious health problems suck some really quite considerable piss.
The good news is that I got the all clear (although I was dumb enough not to think to ask 'so what was it then') and let's face it when you're talking all clear on what you thought might be a cardiac problem there isn't any really bad news. However, to contradict myself, the bad news is that when I did have a momentary wallow in self-pity and contemplate 'what if it's something really serious' I did actually realise that if I was to know that I was to cark it, I would feel like I really hadn't achieved what I need to achieve.
So as I now sit here trying to work out exactly what it is I'm sposed to have done that my instincts tell me I haven't, I was sort of thinking about people I know who live life to the fullest and what a bloody waste it isn't to. Erstwhile headphone invader Houmous seems to be one of these sorts of blokes who is perpetually just off to go surfing or clubbing or dangerous ironing or something and I have another friend Jane who appears not to have stopped since 1975. Maybe it's in the character but I get the feeling I need to live this life a lot more. There's not so much of it, even in a good innings and the aftershow party is notoriously unpredictable. So far I've got a list of places in the world I want to go. So what is on your list of things to do before you shuffle off this mortal coil?


  1. Provide adequate provision for my dependents. After all if I'm dead, what does it matter (to me anymore) what I've done or not?

  2. Pretty similar for me, if I die having given my kids the best start to life, I'll be happy I've done everything I need to and I won't feel I've wasted my life.

  3. That's honest and shit but it's not much *fun* :D . Where's the 'shag triplets in a jacuzzi in Monaco' ambition!!

  4. Oh, I'm not without ambition and there's a bunch of shit I'd like to do before I pop it. I am pretty happy with my lot at the moment, kids are happy and healthy, I've money in my pocket, I enjoy my fishing and gaming and my wifes got great tits. I'm unashamadly not a thrill seeker, so you wont see things like white water rapids and drug cocktails on my list of things to do. I'd like to do some big arsed sharky type fishing, I'd like to go to Japan, I'd like to eat custard out of Kylies anus, nothing too over the top I think?

  5. That's better! Although on recent evidence I may or may not have seen, I think you'll find Abi Titmuss is a willing custard recepticle candidate in that particular area

  6. There's an illustration of 'the selfish gene' principle in action if ever I saw one.. (and no boys, this doesn't mean I'm calling you personally selfish, quite the opposite in fact)
    As to my list of 'things to do before you die', I don't really have one. While I admit to the inevitability of my own mortality, I'm not prepared to start planning for it yet. God that makes me sound like a teenager doesn't it? It occurs to me that should I make such a list and actually complete it, does that mean I have nothing to look forward to other than a quick and painless death at some point? I'd rather keep the list open so I can add new things to it as they come up :)

  7. S'true, if you make a big list of things you must do before you die, you'll end up with a list of things you didn't quite get round to, no matter how minor, and die feeling worthless because you didn't achieve all your stupid aims.

  8. This is truly naval examination of the lowest order I have to say. Make a list to have fun.
    You already know whats wrong but are refusing to admit it obviously.
    Working too hard it's obscuring what you actually enjoy, or what you'd like to.
    I'm never going to have the money to do the things I imagine I'd enjoy the most. I'm also perfectly happy with that, because day to day I aim to have a pleasurable existence.
    Nothing that'll make my obituary, but I laugh a shitload more than loads of people I know. I'm not ecstatic with my life, but there's no a lot I'd change.
    Not through indolence or sloth, but because I quite fancy an easy existence. Work my paid 35 a week and enjoy the rest, usually with beer.
    Every day I try to make others laugh with daft wee things, no more in #eed though, it makes the day fly and feels good to spread some happiness. I'm never gonna release a DVD or tour the US with it, but I feel well liked by friends and colleagues and thats good.
    You've had a scare Am, hope it doesn't swing you into some tofu licking nutjob :)

  9. Now y'see, this is funny as in odd-funny because I never would have predicted this thread ended up this way. It's proved two things to me - that EED boys are generally nice young men and secondly that I'm a malcontent fuck.
    Oh well. You live and learn.
    Well you kind of live. I haven't learned owt in years.
    Well apart from the thought that Kylie's butt would make a spiffing custard serving dish.
    He's not wrong you know readers.

  10. take some rest imbecile, it ain't over yet

  11. Errr thanks Beej. That's military style judgement that is. Errr can I hide behind Slim now please?

  12. I told you there was nothing wrong with you! :-)

  13. Yes dear boy but since that diagnosis was predicated on your own body somehow holding onto the silver thread while jagged and jarred up on half the stimulants known to mankind in repeated fields and clubs of europe and the sub-continent over the sort of time periods that suggest you're in fact held together by string, glue and some serious satanic convocationals, you'll forgive me if I got medical opinion.