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Sunday, 29 May 2005

This week we have mostly been watching..Kingdom of Heaven [houmous]

Polo Lounge – Beverley Hills – breakfast meeting: This CGI shit is great isn’t it! Lets do another movie with a huge great battle in where we don’t need any more than twelve extras! Yeah! I’ve written it all ready –
1) Take some big war that happened in the past that people vaguely remember from school – we don’t want them to remember it too well because we are going to take great liberties with the historical accuracy.
2) Take movie star e.g Brad Pitt/Orlando Bloom etc to be a good guy who is also a tremendous warrior.
3) Take another not quite so popular movie star (like the guy who played Salieri in Mozart) and make him the bad guy who is also a tremendous warrior.
4) Scene one – a chance meeting between above good and bad guy establishes their a) hatred for each other but b) a mutual respect and admiration for each other at a personal level.
5) Take female movie star who plays part of beautiful bit of totty who for some reason is connected to the bad guy but through another chance meeting with the good guy develops strong sexual feelings towards him.
6) Have huge battle – both sides do well at different points of the battle to reinforce the mutual respect between the protagonists (see (4) above).
7) However despite (6) above for reasons lost in historical inaccuracy the fate of the entire city/race etc of good people is actually determined by the good guy and the bad guy arm wrestling for it while a computer enhanced army of millions look on.
8) After worrying you a few times the good guy wins and gets girl or (twist ending) dies even though he wins but female star manages to declare undying love seconds before he pegs it.
Errr that’s it.
I intend to revive my flagging spirits this afternoon by getting stuck into my Lukas Moodysson DVD set which arrived this week (four of his movies) . Taster: “Fucking Amal” – Both Elin and Agnes yearn for more than their tiny town of Amal can offer. “ Together” – Tired of mundane suburban hell Elizabeth ditches her husband and takes her children to her brother Gorans commune…..
Hehe – I’m feeling better already!

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