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Tuesday 12 November 2002

Di a great briton, bullshit! [lurks]

Right, you seen this Great Britons stuff then? It's a good idea. The BBC has made a long running show based on various celebrities advocating figures in history as the greatest Briton. The public votes for it and by proxy learns a bit about history which they probably wouldn't watch otherwise.

Unfortunately they didn't count on one thing. The only people that vote, dial phone numbers, send texts and e-mails in these things are women. So what does this mean? It means that in the top ten along with such unequalled great men such as Darwin, Churchil, Shakespeare and Brunel... we have Lady Diana Spensor. Yes, that's right Di. The woman who never actually did anything besides marry a prince and then publically drag the British monarchy through the wringer as she washed her laundry in public. Oh and she died, this appears to have done her favors and not the other great men in the top ten.

She is FUCKING SECOND in the top ten at the moment ffs. As the second greatest Briton that ever lived! I mean was she a legendary engineer that helped drive forward the industrial revolution? Was she a brilliant, sincere botanist that defined the penultimate theory of evolution? Did she lead Britains victory in the second world war? Was she the greatest playwrite the world has ever seen? Was she responsible for the government of democrasy in the modern world?

No she was fucking not, she did absolutely cunting nothing. These tosspots go on about her campaigning about landmines where as all I can remember was the weeks of flowery horseshit after she died, overselling her contribution to this country and humanity. A week that Mother Terresa also died and got 1/10th the press.

I am speechlessly annoyed. She shouldn't be in the top fucking 100 let alone SECOND among these truly great Britons. No she's second because she represented, for one fleeting instant, the fairy tale fantasy that British women all secretly aspire to.

Let us realise it as such and mentally cross her out from this top ten of genuinely great Britons. Fucking women!


  1. If Churchill doesn't win, something is seriously FUBAR. I really enjoyed Clarkson's hour covering Brunel, who was clearly a bit of a God - and gets my vote.

  2. Churchill, great man, no denying that. However I personally think the greatest of Britons ought to be someone who stood out from the ranks off their own bat and less of an hour-of-need type greatness such as Churchill. I dunno, I like to think Britain's greatest achiever should be someone that contributed to the whole human race rather than just defending the country in a war. Same goes for Nelson.

    That's why my vote is with Darwin. This guy was a gem of a man who stood up with a groundbreaking theory and challenged the incumbants and religious establishment and told the human race where they really came from for the first time.

    Failing that, you can't go wrong with Brunel or Shakespeare. Again though, Shakespeare I think had a lasting impact and is taught in schools today so he'd be my second or third with Churchill. Cromwell had his moments but was mired in religious fanatacism and a serious spot of dubious stuff that went on in Ireland.

    And Lennon, what the fucking hell is he doing in the top 10? If your going to have a musician, let's have Freddy Mercury instead imo!

    BTW by pure coincidence my home town is called Darwin. Never really gave the whole thing much thought when I lived there!

  3. Couldn't agree more lurks. The trouble with anything of this sort is that because it is vote based, reasoning dosen't come into it. The winner is always the most popular person & so the whole thing is fundementally flawed. For my 2p though I'd have to go with Newton. He didn't struggle & conquer the biggoted totalitarianism of the church in the way that Darwin did but his work has had a greater impact on humanity as a whole than Darwin. We would still be living in shit if it wasn't for him.

  4. The very idea that Diana Spencer is worthy of any accolade in this ranking is frankly offensive. It shows just how ignorant the vast majority of voters really are; completely obsessed with daytime television and Bella magazine.

    Churchill doesn't get my vote either. It is said that tough situations give rise to heroes, and indeed he was a great man who befits the term hero - even 'Great Briton', but that was a 6 to 8 year period in an otherwise fairly 'ordinary' life.

    I vote, without hesitation for Charles Darwin. A man who as Lurks has already mentioned, laid the foundations for theories that have shaped the scientific world across multiple disciplines.

    A truly great Briton.

  5. Another vote for Charles Darwin from this corner, although I'd also have to give serious consideration to Isacc Newton... Charles Babbage and Alan Turing also rate highly in my estimation, but I think that's personal bias showing. It's nice to see Brunel getting some of the recognition that the man deserves thanks to this, even if it's down to a lot of unwashed students hax0ring the BBC :)

    David Beckham, Boy George, Tony Blair and Julie Andrews are all listed agead of Charles Babbage, James Watt and Geoffery Chaucer. Jesus H christ.

  6. I bet Sir Frank Whittle doesn't get a look in. I'd just love to actually talk to one of these morons that voted Di or Beckham. I'd just like to hear them justify how they are more great than the others in the list. The only argument I'd except from them is 'I'm too ignorant to know who they are'.

  7. Not only was Jesus H. Christ not a Great Briton, but there is also speculation that the Bible might be a collection of Old Wives Tales. This sure throws some doubt on the authenticity of his documented 'miracles'! :)

  8. I think it is quite clear that EED is as far removed from the modern social thermometer as is possible to get.

    This is what happens when you get educated I guess.

  9. 'I think it is quite clear that EED is as far removed from the modern social thermometer as is possible to get.'

    I'll drink to that!

  10. Well it's all a bit sound-biteish isn't it? Personally, if you'relooking for sustained really important contributions, I'd say thegreatest Briton was Queen Elizabeth the First. She solved an incrediblytense stand-off between Protestant and Catholic faiths putting backtogether a country that was torn apart by religious divide, she survivedand won against conspiracy by her sister, oversaw the most essentialperiod of England's literary scene (Shakespear / Spencer / Marlowe) etc,sorted the Spanish and French out in a very big stylee commanding thewar from home and was generally the country's most loyal sovereign. Herfinal speech to her last parliament ('The Golden Speech') was so movingthat transcripts of it were read aloud from the 16th century through tothe end of Victorian times as inspiration at public gatherings andschools etc. Any of those things was incredibly important - to do themall in one life is amazing.

    Now sorting out second place, I believe it's plain that Newton 0wnerisesDarwin who was a bloke with a big head and a beard in bad tweed.

  11. Hmm she's another Hour of Need candidate imo. Anyhow, how many of you fuckers actually voted? I'm assuming very little.