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Friday 17 January 2003

Recipe: Ninja Turbo pizza [lurks]

Right bitches, here's something new since you asswipes never do blogs. Here's how to make the ultimate pizza. You'll need a bread machine to make the dough, no shit from Tescos! You'll need a pizza tin of course, I use a funky one with crisping holes in it. You can monkey around with the topping all you like, this is my Ninja Turbo pizza which uses the same principals to make superb restaurant beating pizza for zero money.

Dough ingredients:

100gr Wholemeal flour
250gr Strong white flour
2 tblsp olive oil
1/2 tblsp sugar
1 tsp salt
200ml milk
1/2 tsp rapid yeast

Topping ingredients:

Crushed garlic
Tomato base

First off, the biggest difference between pizza is the dough. You can pretty much do what you like on the topping but of course, I highly recommend the Turbo Ninja pizza recipe above. So to make the dough, you use the dough program on a bread maker. You could also do it by hand if you were a masochist.

In the the breadmaker pan goes all the dough ingredients above. You can skip on the wholemeal flour if you like, that's an invention of mine which I prefer for a zingy base. You could also substitute butter for the olive oil and use a table spoon of powdered milk with 200ml of water instead of the milk, if you like. If you're a bender. My breadmaker will whisk this up in 45 minutes. Check the water content of the dough, if it's too dry and wont quite cling to your fingers, then pitch a bit more water in.

Now we get to the fun bit. Lightly flour a surface and tip the dough out. It isn't necessary to do the hand spinning that pizzerias do although I do, since I once worked in one ten years ago :) Instead just roll out the dough into a rough flat circle with a rolling pin. Then pop that in a pizza tray. Now you can roll it to the edges of the tray and use your fingers to push it up a bit at the edges for that nice bulgy crust.

I personally can't be arsed faffing about making a tomato base so I use those el-cheapo tomato pasta sauces you get from the shops. Strictly speaking, the Turbo Ninja pizza demands a third of a jar of Lloyd Grossman Tomato and Chilli sauce but you can use what you like. A third of a jar is just about right or you risk getting soggy. Pitch on the crushed garlic too and use a spoon to spread it around leaving an inch around the edges free of sauce. Unless you want messy fingers!

Now it's just a matter of pitching the rest of the ingredients on. If you want a pizza hut type pizza, you want plenty of grated mozarella which you can also easily get from the shops. We're talking a full half bag of the shit. Don't guy buying expensive buffalo moz ffs. Now it's just a matter of pitching on some finely sliced mushrooms, I like the big sort so they're easy to slice. Chillis if you're a man although you can slice capsicum if you're a pussy. The authentic Turbo Ninja specification demands chillis of course.

Now if you want some onion on, the trick is to have that sliced very thinly, don't put a lot on. And put it near the top of the toppings, don't bury it. Or it'll end up too crunchy. Pepperoni goes on top. Then you slam dunk the rest of the topping with cheddar and some grated italian/parmesan. Then slap on some pepper and oregano.

You should have a pretty wicked looking pizza now. Grating cheese directly onto it is the go, then wipe the inch around the edge clean of topping. Now, here's what I do given my kitchen is cold at the moment, pop the pizza into the oven and chuck it on uber low for a bit. Just to heat the oven up. We're doing this to rise the pizza dough. Not too hot or you'll start cooking it. We're talking 1 min on low. Then walk off and leave it in the (off) oven for half an hour to rise.

It should have risen nicely. Take it out, preheat the oven to pretty damn hot. We're talking about 210C or so in a fan forced. The preheating is important here. Then when it's up to temp, slap in the pizza on the bottom shelf. Yep, the bottom. Now you need to keep a close eye on the pizza. Somewhere between 15-20 mins is all it will take to cook. Make sure you don't overcook or it will be like a brick!

Bingo, that's the Turbo Ninja pizza. A *shit* load better than anything you could order from a pizza joint and it wont cost you a tenner either!

One last thing, if you want to make more than one it's a bit tricky since your breadmaker probably wont double on on the dough. So pop the first dough into an oiled plastic bag and slap it in the fridge. When you've made the pizzas and put them in the oven, swap their shelf positions half way through cooking. It's a faff but you can make it work :)

1 comment:

  1. And I've got some cold leftover for breakfast :)