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Friday 19 September 2003

PC naming conventions [lurks]

I've had this tradition going back a number of years concerning the naming of PCs. Well actually, it predates PCs. When I worked on CU Amiga, my office A4000 tower was known as Bitch. My first incarnation of lounge server was called Wench and so has every other incarnation thereafter. My desktop is called Slut, the wide's machine is called Slapper. Tart is my work laptop. Small Tosh laptop was called Bint, I think Spiro has that now and EED's game server has traditionally been called Snatch.
I'm running a bit low on names. Since I have proven weak and ordered a Sony tr1mp same as Am in blog 478, I need a new name. It must reflect small and perfectly formed but with the proper feminine connotations and a good lashing of disrespect. Any suggestions?
But what about you guys anyway, what's your machine naming conventions?


  1. When I configured the [.tv] network, each PC was an Eastenders character, and this seemed to go down well with the non-geeks in the office.
    Currently in a bit of a transitionary phase with SC; we have run out of planets in the Star Wars universe so now we're moving on to Bond villains :-)

  2. Yeah, i do have Bint and I'm pretty sure that its still called that. Sadly mine is called Spiro, but at work all of the machines are named after star wars characters. The machine i use most in VT is called Yoda and the other is Boba Fett, with the shared printer being padawan. the rest of the building falls in. the food show we do name their PC's after vegetables and fruit.

  3. slag, whore, maiden, cow, jugs, hooters.
    Dunno if any of those are any use to you, if it's a small lappy though 'kylie' seems right. You know you want her warming your lap anyways.

  4. I know, this is shockingly dull, but given I've got 32 servers, they're named like this:
    WWW1, WWW2, WWW3, WWW4, WWW5...
    However, I allow myself some flexibility with the database servers! They're named like this:
    WWW-DB1, WWW-DB2, WWW-DB3... etc.
    My naming convention imagination knows NO bounds!

  5. Being the sad git that I am, my home boxes are Weebl, Bob, HairyLee, Donkey and NinjaPirate.

  6. Workwise, the policy was to use the user's ID, which is the first three letters of the first name and the first three letters of the last name (mursur, for example). Allows you to quickly identify machines, as well as who to blame when one goes titsup.
    My home machines have historically been named after mythological gods - the current two are Anubis and Loki.

  7. The obvious ones are Cunt, Twat, Labia or Clit. Some slang derogatory terms for women are Boiler, Nest, Bike, Cumbucket or how about just Fanny?

  8. I named my current PC, Zhaan, after said big titted, bald and blue faced sex goddess from Farscape. However, mostly, I try not to put affectionate or derogatory names to peices of equipment. I have enough trouble remembering my own name at times, let alone the sultry nom de plume of my USB Hub.

  9. I'm actually quite disturbed that my lounge server as A) found a way fo blogging and B) has something to say about the naming of the new computer due to arrive on the network.

  10. Rebot is taking over !!

  11. None of the above satisfy his criteria though, 'It must reflect small and perfectly formed but with the proper feminine connotations and a good lashing of disrespect.'
    His new lappy is small, young, but knows every dirty trick in the book:
    Jailbait'If there's grass on the pitch... play on!'

  12. My PC = Azlea (after the huge nippled pr0nst4r)Pauline's PC = VibroMy spare = Tosspot
    Building a new PC for music writing only which will be called 'CouchStain'

  13. Errrr.....Rocking Robin and Smelly Pants :)

  14. heh fuckpig is what one of my best friends called me at college for a few weeks as a result of not turning up to a social eventI finally managed to sort him out after weeks of abuse by downing a pint of Diamond White in 2.3 seconds which he said was impossiblesometimes king of the beers wins! This story, by the way, dedicated to my mate Goat who decided voluntarily to shuffle off this mortal coil 4 years ago - dude