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Friday, 29 April 2005

We interrupt this program to bring you a word from our sponsors... [Houmous]

As you all know I look upon EED as my segregate family – you are like my mum and dad, brothers and sisters, children, errrrr very small children etc etc. I’m also well aware that sometimes (but not often) you venture outside, for example when your broadband connection temporarily goes down.
When you do venture outside you may have noticed a big yellow thing in the sky. We call that "the Sun". Now the Sun is a “good thing” as in good looking women wear less when it is out, and a "bad thing" as in it can give you skin cancer which is a "very bad thing".
This is why I want you all to buy the only certified 8 hour life fully waterproof sunscreen that is on the market right now – Prosport - (and the only one you don’t have to apply 30 mins before you go out). You can buy it here. When you have bought it I want you to rub it all over your body twice a day and ensure you keep back up tubes in the car.
If you do this not only will you be able to travel to the sun without burning yourself you will also live for ever, become incredibly good looking and get to beta test Half Life 3 in the Peninsula Hotel bar in Santa Monica for as long as you want. Honest.
p.s. any rumours that this is a company I have started as a sideline in preparation for my alternative lifestyle transition are completely true... errrrrr... I mean untrue hehe


  1. The Sun(tm) is evil, evil as hell. What you really need to do is to *NEVER* go outside during the Hell Season. What i dont get is why people dont understand this, its yellow ffs. You wouldnt wear a yellow suit now would you? Of course not. Old ancient cultures knew this, they were properly afraid of it, recognising it as pure evil and desperatly made human sacrifices. It didnt work, so for now we seem to be stuck with it. Michael Bolton loves the sun. I rest my case.

  2. Now as I was listening to a very interestin lecture on Radio 4 on the way home in my chariot the other day, in fact you should understand sunscreen (particularly sunscreen not factor cream) as having UV deflecting elements of a nano-technology size in their constituents. It's all to do with UV deflection see.
    Therefore if Houmous is starting this stuff up then clearly he is peddling grey-gloop. Nanotech facist! I suggest you, the public, march on his extensive beach front home in protest and only compromise when he offers you i) fine wine ii) fine persians and iii) a ride in his speedboat.
    That is all.