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Friday 18 October 2002

Firefighters on crack [lurks]

You've read my other blog about the bastard striking tube drivers. Well now we've got firefighters nationally threating to strike over pay. Now first off I must say that their case is entirely different from tube drivers. Firefighters are not paid enough and I personally think that £30K is not too much to task, especially when those scumbag tube drivers are on £31K for doing bugger all.

However the fighterfighters seem to believe that someone somewhere can just wave a wand and magically the money will drop out of the sky to give them a 40% pay rise. They wont wait for the independant pay review due in 6 weeks, they want to go on strike now unless they get the pay raise.

Well they're on crack. Yes we're all a little more aware of firefighters post September the 11th but I'm sorry, you knew what money was on the table when you chose that profession for a career. So despite the fact I think they're worth the money, they're greedy unrealistic militant tosspots for striking. That said it's almost certainly scumbag union leaders which have sold this whole prospect to them as if it's vaugely realistic.

In addition to my insightful political comment on this burning issue, I shall now conclude with my trademark unorthodox solution to the problem. First of all, avail yourself of the solution I proposed for tube drivers. Now after the tube drivers are replaced with the big-issue sellers and put on minimum wage - I propose sending them to independant pay review. Typically they come back with a 5-10% pay raise.

I propose that the firefighters go to independant pay review and take the pay increase offered. Then half the pay increase due to the new former big-issue selling tube drivers can be given to firefighters instead. They can fuck off, they only have to push forward, stop and open door. Plus they still haven't bathed. So this gives a 150% independant pay review average increase for firefighters, amounting to about 10-15% in real terms.

Finally, after the old sacked tube drivers hit the job centre and start getting placed in their burger flipping jobs - there should be a scheme to take a percentage of their pay. I call this new tax, cunt tax. The cunt tax will then be used to top up firefighters pay still further. Hopefully with a cunt tax level of, say, 25% (in addition to income tax of course), then firefighter pay should be increased another 5% (burger flipping doesn't earn as much) taking firefighter pay from 15-20% above their current pay levels.

You see, complex economic issues like this need a master intellect to work out the finer points. This is why the world will be a better place when I am made King.



  2. I've no problem with asking for a payrise, but 40% and striking is taking the piss. Leaving the job to the Armed Forces is also taking the piss for anything other than a national emergency. I'm all for the idea of some sort of Medical-Police-Fire standardisation, it might shut them all up for once.

  3. saying that, their wage is piss low