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Wednesday 2 June 2004

Uses for a switched off mobile phone [slim]

My wife has a mobile. It's her third mobile in fact, she destroyed the first two by smashing them in half, this one has lasted over a year because it's one of those tough rubberized indestructable jobbies. Her destruction of phones in the early days was fustrating, but the longevity of this phone is also pissing me off. Why? Because even though the phone has survived this year in her pocket, it's never fucking switched on. She picks it up every time she goes out, but leaves the fucker off. Now the rational explanation is that she only wants to make, not recieve calls. I'm not fucking interested in rational frankly. I want to know why we pay a contract and why she carries the thing around constanly in its offline state.
In short, what use is a turned off mobile phone to a woman? Answers please...


  1. If you turn the screen just ... so ... in the light, you can catch your reflection. Discreet and ideal mechanism for that mid-afternoon eyelash bulk-up proceedure that normally might attract unwanted attention if you were to fetch out a conspicuous mirror.

  2. So you can't catch her on job with the milkman ;-)

  3. It's genetic slim, mine does exactly the same. Either that or lets the battery run dry so when she needs it it's dead.

  4. (singing): 'I'm every woman'
    I have mine on but the ringer is permanently off. If it rings, and I happen to notice it, I wouldn't answer it. What's the point? It'll only be some cunt rattling on about something dull.
    My phone is for my convenience, not anyone elses.
    This system doesn't work if everyone did the same. Did you notice?