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Tuesday 29 June 2004

Worst movies of all time [lurks]

I remember my old lady had a couple of books, one called the 50 worst movies of all time and the other, the golden turkey awards. They rocked and so I thought we'd have a blog along those lines!
Sunday I was a bit bored and so downloaded Starship Troopers II. Haha, how bad was this? 3.8/10 on IMDB... Let's put it this way, they couldn't even afford to the blanks for their guns so they had little lights on the end of them. Lazerquest Troopers, ho ho.
Now come on, we all must have seen some stinkers. Preferably ones so bad they are funny. Stuff like Undead, the hilarious and absolutely essential viewing aussie zombie movie. More more!


  1. Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2
    You need to see this. The scene where Dennis Hopper is trying out chainsaws is worth it alone.

  2. A Movie given to me by Lurker 'Evolver' got to be the worst movie ever.

  3. Rotfl yes, that was your crimbo present wasn't it :)

  4. It may not be officially the worst movie evah, but I'd offer up here 'Ishtar' a 1987 mega-budget project that apparently still makes movie execs shudder. Its an incredibly bad non comedy starring Dustin Hoffman and Warren Beatty who look half dead throughout the whole thing as if to say 'oh god, we suspect it's shit and all the indications are it probably really is utter shit'.
    Great non-overblown review of it here; . This thing cost USD40m in 1987. That's when 40m was a lottttt of wonga.

  5. Top of the world, starring Peter Weller, Dennis Hopper, Tia Carrere to name a few big name stars in this turkey.
    I remember buying it thinking it looked great and must be a good film with such stars in it, only to laugh all the way through it at the bad acting.
    The highlight of the film was seeing Weller and Carrere fall down the side of a Dam in a cage.

  6. uh, you thought hopper, tia and weller would make a movie *good*??? they aint big, they have just starred in a zillion b-movies fool :)

  7. Well, some good suggestions here but I can reveal a film that will quite simply blow the other turkeys clear outta da water.
    Ladies and Germs, I give you... Close to Eden; an abortion of a film, where Melanie Griffith essentially spends 2 hours of the viewer's non-reclaimable lifetime, trying to integrate herself in an orthodox Jewish community.
    It's SO bad, it will make you cough blood.

  8. Does she get her bacon out?

  9. Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace - Oh my god, what a shit movie, clearly the worst movie of all time!
    Dishonourable mentions go to Spiceworld - the Movie and glitter, the dangers of sleepless nights and sky movies :)
    (Personally I think Braindead is one of the worst movies I have *ever* seen, dont care who made it, but Im in the minority there so wont pick that)

  10. Without a doubt the second Matrix film - I worshipped the first one and then had to sit through drivel like the scene where the black guys wife was having a go at him because he was away too often on his ship...I kid you not tears rolled down my eyes in the cinema....

  11. Has anyon ever seen Kickboxing Academy? Caught it once on HBO. Hope I never see that shit again. Bad acting, bad storyline, stupid and cliched villain who in the end wields a gun on little kids for losing a karate competition, only to be defeated with a single slap on the wrist... all the stuff that makes the worst film ever made are there. Any challengers?

  12. without a doubt I'm a complete tool.

  13. Jesus christ. It's time to dump public comments.

  14. The second Res Evil movie. Gawd, what a let down.
    None of the good shit from the first film is there (laser defence systems, jump-scares, gratuituous fanny shots) and then Apocalypse strides out to shoot up STARRS and it's a man in a crummy suit!
    I s'pose Jill Valentine gives you a semi but it's just not enough compensation. Ahh well.