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Wednesday 30 July 2003

Richmongo [am]

The other week a few of us arfed off to Richmond to sit amongst the peasants (well middle class peasants) on the river side and talk life, toyz and whose-round-is-it-now-you fecker. Special guests did not include Houmous who showed a spectacular disregard for our invitation and neglected to travel about 4 hours round trip for a drink. Special guests however did include Muz's mate errmmm henceforth known as 'Muz's mate' as well as the usual assortment of reprobates from the crosshatch. Also in attendance Beej, Spiro, Lurks, Muz.
As the afternoon loped lazily on and pints of wife-beater settled in our comfy tums a couple of things unfolded. One, Jay, who was studiously ignoring us despite living only 2 minutes away, eventually turned up and to everyone's complete and utter bafflement brought Jez, his ertswhile 'mate' whom no-one in the clan can errr stand due to the fact he's been a twat to Jay and has an ego which is roughly the same in number of square miles of radience as his IQ which is to say about 85. To put not too fine a point on it, even peddling hard, this boy could not light a 60 watt lightbulb.
Secondly or 'two' for the grammatically correct, Beej who was interested in buying my t68i thought that he would try and engage in a contract negotiation with the Phat Lawyer. All this for about two pounds eighty as he was unwilling to listen to the asking price being twenty quid *plus one pint*. Possibly envisaging himself as some sort of tough-guy negotiator, he made a fatal flaw which was that he mistook me for someone who gives a fuck. After about three attempts to make him understand it was twenty quid *plus one pint* with Beej instead saying 'no Gareth (in that way he has) it's twenty quid' I gave him a short lesson in contract negotiation by hurling the t68i straight into the middle of the Thames.
Suffice it to say Muz's mate (as student scum) was deeply traumatised by this and repeated 'I can't believe you did that' throughout the rest of the afternoon. And just when the laughter subsided, The Lurker decided to send his t68 in to keep mine company. The Bad Value of Electricdeath is strong in this one.
Here's some pics; Richmond madness . See if you can guess which one is Muz's mate contemplating contract-negotiation electricdeath stylee.... also see if you can guess which one is where Am realises that Jay is the brains in the relationship :)


  1. So why didn't you throw Jez in the Thames as well?

  2. Ah, another EED pissup - and at glorious Richmond. However, I do have some questions based on the evidence at hand..
    Firstly, is it some unwritten rule that Jay and his mate have to have the same hair style?
    But this is majorly odd - can someone explain to me why Beej is listening to his camera? - I always figured him for such a bright boy :)

  3. mugs: funny you should mention that. When we called Jay to bleet about his no-show faggotry, he said 'I'm doing stuff' and 'I'm with my best mate in the world'. Upon hanging up, I opined: 'The muppet's with Jess.' The conversation that followed can be summarised thusly:
    Spiro: You're takin the piss. You reckon he'll bring Jess here?
    Am: If he does, he'll be getting a knuckle sandwich from teh Phat Lawya
    Lurks: Not if I throw him in the river first!
    Am: Oi, fux0r, no! I said it first.
    Lurks: Mong off, peon.
    (repeat ad nauseum)

    Unfortunately, nothing ever came of these threats when the bike pulled up...