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Thursday 29 May 2003

Taxi drivers with filthy gobs [brit]

Good lord.
Imagine this ok? you've just rounded off a thoroughly pleasant evening with your fellow EED - much beer, sambuca and of course champagne has been had. Merriment and involved discussion covering a gamut of topics has wound down and the simple fact remains; bed beckons, and therefore a taxi is required and in time appropriated from the Streets Of London Town.
Now extend your imagination to a scenario which a comedy writer couldn't create in their wildest dreams.. you've picked the only taxi in Christendom to be driven by Ron McFilth - the world's most right wing, opinionated 'Englishman' who's very existence depends on his ability to use the word 'cunt' every few minutes.
Tony Blair? 'a fucking wanker'. Ken Livingstone? 'a fucking cunt'. Anyone who wasn't legitimately born under the flag of St. George? 'a fucking wanker cunt'.
Initial investigations reveal that this chap was a genetic experiment gone awry; Phil Mitchell added to what sounded like a draft of the new BNP manifesto. Nobody escaped unscathed, and opinions were offered faster than his drunken occupants could absorb. Norris McWerter (he of Guinness Book Of Records fame) has been alerted - nobody, ever, has managed to use the word 'wanker' in place of nouns, pronouns, and verbs in a single sentence.
Until now.
Taxi drivers. Salt of the earth. Cunts.


  1. I found him fairly harmless really, it amused us more than anything else. The thing is, if he'd picked up some east end boys or whatever then you'd expect that kind of behavior but his right wing opinions weren't requested at all. We did try and goat him to get racist as well but I think he caught wind of our mirth at that point and changed the subject ;)
    And you got out before me too. I had the pleasure of his company for that bit longer. Somehow I ended up with him giving me a run-down of every single price hike in the Taxi driving paraphenalia since Livingston came to power. Joy.

  2. I thought it was very funny indeed! When we asked him about europe and he was like 'you can shove Europe and all europeans up my arse, Im english' I had tears running down my face from laughing :)

  3. Oh God that's right. We were egging him on, 'Euro? Pah, fucking rupees!'. I never thought a Sun reader would be that funny but he did wear thin after a bit, you got to get out first ;)